toast - ‘pony’
It’s no secret that we’re all getting older. For those in their twenties, though, the sensation of growing up is especially bittersweet. There’s fear, regret and uncertainty – but on the horizon, plenty of joy and hope to be found.
The “other side of the coin” to his debut, toast’s sophomore album pony captures both the joys and disappointments of growing up as tangibly as thirteen Polaroids in an old scrapbook. This vibrant coming-of-age record documents the artist’s struggle with loneliness, depression, relationships, and getting older while highlighting the wonders he’s discovered in this new season of adulthood. “The [first] album was a secret dream world you could use to escape to feel like you’re in your high school cafeteria again,” songwriter and producer Marcus Hidalgo told The Buzz, “but these new songs are the wake-up calls and the real life that awaits you when you’re done dreaming.” As for the album’s title – it’s named after a mysterious pair of socks the artist wore for three years growing up. “The brand name sewn into the socks was ‘pony’,” he explains. “Subconsciously, I saw this word almost every single day, and they almost began to symbolize my stepping into adulthood and all the things I had to go through to get to where I'm at now.”
When the Orlando, FL native debuted as Toast in 2019, youth was his armor. Late-night hangs with college friends produced sensational singles like “fun” and “wii”, with quirky alt-pop grooves, innocent themes and plenty of video game samples. His 2022 debut LP, marcus, why’s your name toast??, was just as carefree; he sang about love, video games and snacks with college friend JOE L as the two produced everything from skeletal acoustic pop to punk-infused hyper-trap. Years passed, though – and with the untroubled bliss of youth behind him, the Nashville-based indie artist shares a mature and eclectic sequel in pony.
From the beginning, toast expresses that his youth has faded away, along with a lot of the people he once held close. A symphony of acoustic loops explodes into a distorted hyper-trap beat in “a quiet room with pictures of you” while the artist sings “I’ll never forget you” to his younger self. Meanwhile, “Pollen” glows with bittersweet nostalgia. A flipped gospel sample, sharp bassline, laid-back beat and grungy acoustic groove along as Hidalgo sings, “Days been going by, I've been thinking that // I shouldn't hide how I feel inside // Times we leave behind, no one told me that // it's ok to cry, to cry”. “Mateo in the Garden” reads like an honest letter to an estranged friend and breaks into a shuffling, soulful refrain: “I wish it would feel much better, thinking if I had it all // Maybe take off all the pressure, then growing up won't feel so wrong.” As thoughtful and expansive as a clear night sky, “A Piece of Your Heart'' shows Hidalgo mourning the death of his father, who passed away when the artist was a teenager. “I felt the weight extremely heavy as I became a father this year,” he explains. “I wanted to pay homage to him being a great human being and express how I will try to do the same for my son.” An acoustic guitar and piano shimmer like stars as his grief-stricken voice sings, “I'll give them someone who they can look up to.”
Depression, anxiety, regret and loneliness surface as Hidalgo processes his youth and the uncertainty of growing old. “Starfruit”, an infectious and driving indie rock banger, candidly depicts the artist’s battle with depression. The in-your-face bombtrack “punch boy” describes Hidalgo’s alter ego: a character who is “ready to fight and punch through any obstacle life or adulthood has to offer him as he grows up,” he says. Suddenly, anxiety sets in as the singer chants, “I don’t wanna die" – a testament that “even the most confident and powerful people can feel insecure, lost and scared.” Hidalgo also seeks to make peace with his past: “Wish it was a lie but I hurt all my friends,” he admits in “Broken Jaw”. He wrestles with faith and identity in “God’s Dance Moves”, a message straight to God. “I don’t know how I feel about // spending life talking to the clouds,” the artist sings, a spacious room and washed-out Rhodes emphasizing his loneliness. Suddenly, the clouds break as he unapologetically lets go of his beliefs: “I don’t wanna be who I’m not anymore.” Through it all, Hidalgo is able to approach these serious subjects with his signature, youthful nonchalance; lines like “My age is getting the best of me // I swear it's just allergies” and “I’ll keep it in my head // I’m your favorite bread” prove his wit is as sharp as ever.
Like the best coming-of-age stories, pony isn't all tragic. Newfound wisdom, good memories and new experiences show growing up isn’t all that bad. “Take it Slow”, for instance, is a plea for listeners to enjoy life and love in the moment. Glimmering and reminiscent of a 2000s pop-rock anthem, the song was inspired by “a mature mindset of looking at relationships in your late 20s,” Hidalgo tells The Buzz. It portrays a romance that is more grown-up – not one “built off of the drama, rumors, or certain behaviors you would find in most teenage relationships.” Similarly, another year passes in “Yearbook”, but the chorus eagerly focuses on the good times at hand: "I've been thinking 'bout the Summer / Taking each day one after the other.”
Musically, toast’s charming bedroom pop sound has matured into something more raw and genuine than before. This time, his production is even more whimsical and opts for a more organic feel: the quirky synths and video game sounds of yesteryear are replaced by acoustic and electric guitars, pianos and even baby toys, all miked up and recorded in his apartment. All in all, the emotion and imagery Hidalgo creates with sound is remarkably vivid, like a lucid dream or one of the old films he's inspired by.
Especially for those on the cusp of adulthood, Pony delivers a treasure trove of gems, a genuine and relatable look at the trials of growing up, and a much-needed reassurance that things are going to work out in the end.
